Would you want more of this book?

OK, first and foremost, if you're going to write a book that already has been in and out the market many times, be careful with plot. You have to guarantee to yourself that you aren't copying any elements of your story. Second, try not to make it corny, because once you make it corny, it gets unbelievable. There were really good parts to this, but once you started switching from her thoughts to his, I got confused. Yes, it's in third person, but if you keep switching around from one person the next (especially in the same paragraph), you're going to run into trouble. Just make sure you stay true to yourself and your characters, and stray away from all this other stuff out there. Hope I helped :)