Newer love song i wrote{unfinished}. opinions? (obsessed 15 year old writer)?

It's looking good so far. I like the prose: 'body crystallise, a frozen, bright red mess', the rest is also fine. The actual verse has potential: 'Serenity will be retraced over that smile on your face' - another good line. Well, now what are you going to do with this? I hope to see the finished work.